In no relation to the bible, christianity nor religion for that matter, homosexuality was considered deviant behaviour, and was more distinctively identified as such in the past. Homosexuality did not sprout out only in the 21st century, but had always existed in a delusional state even in the time of Shakespeare. I justify this by the following reason: People knew that such civil groups existed, but had not or were not prepared to come to terms with such behaviour until mindsets took a turn on the liberal end recently. The marriage of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi hence serves as a testimony to the gradual acceptance of homosexuality and the freedom to love in our global community. Because long term relationships could also exist between same-sex couples(the four-year-long relationship of Ellen and Portia before they decided to get married), this suggests that certain factors qualify dyadic consciousness in a non-conventional relationship as well.
For many, homosexuality occurs to a person as a self discovery more than a choice, and one possibly gravitates to another person of the same gender due to a better form of mutual understanding between the couple. We all know that the genetic make-up of a male and a female differs, hence some gay and lesbian relationships perceive their relationships to thrive on the same level of understanding due to the same genetic make-up they share, simply being of the same gender. In an article titled 'Are gay relationships different?' in Time magazine last year, a comparison of 40 same-sex couples and 40 heterosexual couples was done and psychologists concluded that same-sex couples are better at appeasing the situation during arguments compared to straight couples as they are less belligerent, less domineering and less fearful. Very often, gays and predominantly lesbians(which the author of the article aptly dubbed as the 'Ellen DeGeneres effect') were found to inject humour into their conversations/arguments with one another, making the situation less tense. This, I believe, is all in the name of having at least a satisfactory amount of understanding towards each other to prevent over-conflict.
Theories have also stated that it is more difficult for a gay or lesbian couple to repair their relationships during the period of differentiation, circumscribing and stagnating (reference: Knapp Model of Relational Development). This largely attributes to the fact that there are no specific gender roles in a homosexual relationship. Both males take the washing out to dry, and both females are independent earners of their own income, therefore no one takes the dominant lead in patching things up with their partners. However, it is precisely because of equality in gender roles that some people gravitate to homosexual relationships.
The article in Times magazine also states that homosexuals are generally more self conscious than straight people 'perhaps due to their stigmatized status', hence legalizing gay and lesbian marriages could help prolong their relationships.
Therefore the act of lifting the ban of gay marriages in certain states such as California, Connecticut and Los Angeles not only gives room for the rights to love beyond a specific gender, but also enhances the quality of a relationship status as the above cues. Legalizing gay marriages and having it represented by influential celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres could slowly eradicate the stereotypes people have of homosexuality and make it more well-accepted by the public, in turn also reducing the number of people having to lead double lives to conceal their identities. After all, the sexual orientation of a person largely contributes to giving one his/her identity, hence gays and lesbians should definitely have their rights to pursue their preferences.
Of course, we have to bear in mind that mindsets take time to change. It could take years, decades or even centuries to change views and perceptions of issues that are not socially accepted. However, will such a situation(of countries/states with rigid mindsets) house the growing number of homosexuals in our global community?
Hey Amadea!
ReplyDeleteThat's the first time I saw that video of Ellen and Portia! I have to admit that although I think that I am rather open to homosexuality, I still felt some mixed emotions while watching the video!
Perhaps like you mentioned, it is more towards the unconventional kind of marriage. I have seen lesbian couples together but I have never seen one getting married! Maybe that kinda came as a shock to me as I have always been used to seeing a guy and a girl! Haha sorry if I sound like I am offending you or anything but I am really not!
Anyway, mindsets do take time to change and I actually think there will be a time in the future where homosexuality will be largel accpeted by society. Just look at how people our generation now are becoming more open to it! It is just the older generations that are not.. So you see, as generations pass, there will probably be a time where it is seen as "normal"! Whoo!
I have always found the dynamics of lesbian/gay relationships interesting because of the various roles they have to take on, or both rather? Anyway, I feel that whether we are straight or gay, as long as we do not do bad things to others.. it really does not matter yo!
Cheers to the homosexuals out there!
Hi Valerie,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it will definitely take a long period of time for people to completely accept homosexual behaviour as part of the social norm and it might take even longer for countries to lift laws prohibiting same-sex marriage, but I believe that homosexuals do take pride in their sexual orientation despite the disapproval of people(especially the older generation).
heys amadea. I think there will always be people who oppose the idea of homosexuality especially in heavily religious communities who believe man was made for woman and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteThe opposition faced from religion will always be there, because you cant expect them to change the scriptures and rules that have been there since long ago... Religion is also a huge reason why the older generation of baby-boomers are more disapproving of such things. In their time, people were more conservative and more afraid of being 'different' for fear of being condemned or outcasted, so even if they found themselves attracted to somebody of the same sex, they couldnt express it at all. Some of them probably ended up being match-made and got married to please their parents, having to suppress their true selves, thus suppressing their true feelings. People of this day and age are truly lucky to be able to express themselves freely because they know that they are safe(from the disapproving crowd) even after disclosing their sexual orientations.
hey amadea..
ReplyDeleteI have to say, unfortunately, homosexuality will not be accepted widely. Not anytime soon at least. (especially in Singapore) I will attribute this assumption to the fact that there are many closet homosexuals around. If more gay people do decide to come out to their families and peers, and in the process, bridge the social gaps and misunderstandings, I’d expect that with time, more will come to be tolerant / accepting of homosexuality and homosexuals. It’s completely normal for people to fear the unknown. So education, access to information and interaction with unlike-others will potentially address some of the prejudice that we see today. So if we choose to rely only on our fear of the unknown and ignore those unlike us, socio-cultural gaps will continue to persist; so will tensions between opposing groups.
Also, I have to point out that acceptance differs from tolerance in that when you say people are more ‘accepting’, you imply that they are willing to include or embrace those unlike you as part of the larger society. Tolerance, on the other hand, suggests a neutral, non-interfering attitude towards those whose views you may find unacceptable. At this point of time, people have yet to accept homosexuals. But i have to say the situation has improved tremendously as compared to earlier days.
Homosexuality has indeed come a long way since generations ago, however, it still has a long way more to go.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that some same sex couples function better together due to the similar genetic make-up. There is likely to be a better mutual understanding and hence, better communication because our gender does play a part in our perceptions and is a factor in our perceptual sets. However, i do not think it makes that big a difference in terms of conflicts in a relationship because of many other contributing factors such as personality, culture, upbringing and so on. Even within same sex couples there can be a stark contrast in partners despite being similar in biological ways.
Same goes for equal footing in gay and lesbian relationships. The blurring of lines and uncertainty of “who wears the pants in the relationship” may cause more problems than solve them. Because it is not a conventional relationship and the same “rules” may not apply, conflicts may arise.
That said, the first time i watched Ellen and Portia’s wedding video I cried and watching it again here made me tear up. The thought of how happy they must be to finally be able to commit to each other both in spirit and name as well just somehow touches me. That is why the passing of Prop8 must have been devastating to them and other gay and lesbian couples in California. After all, with so much hate in this world, who are we to stop more people from showing love?
The idea of homosexuality definitely has a long way to go even though it has improved over the years. I would have to agree with Isabelle on the part about fearing the unknown. It has always been the case where humans have succumbed to their fear and became hostile in the result. I suppose lots of time is needed for the society to unlearn such opinions and learn the new ones.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I feel really happy for Ellen and Portia. You can really see the love they have for each other when you look at them looking into each other's eyes. Love it!
I think that in our modern age, people have become more accepting to the idea of homosexuality. This is big step for mankind because we are seeing our people finally being more open and liberal, after all these centuries.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it is great that Ellen and Portia are that open about their same sex marriage because as celebrities, they have the ability to send a stronger message to people all over the world that, homosexuality is alright, it's just another way of looking at life.
chin
I honestly feel that having a normal heterosexual relationship is difficult enough... having a homosexual one would make things so much more messy, considering the fact that there are so many social factors to consider.
ReplyDeleteI for one feel that it's extremely sad for people to have a homosexual relationship because they will miss out on the possible joys of having their own biological children. I guess adopting children is an option for gay couples but I believe that a human life is fueled by the need to procreate. I think having a child is an extremely wonderful miracle that is an amazing. Making something out of nothing. There's no other thing in the world where you can do something like that!
I don't condone homosexual relationships, nor do I have a negative bias, I think a person is entitled to his or her own beliefs, and they should live it without thinking too much about others. After all, it is your life, so live it, put your best foot forward with every step and be happy!
Homosexuality has been a controversial and sensitive issue, and in my opinion, will remain to be so in the near future. Even in the more liberal West, not all states have embraced the idea of legalising same-sex unions. However, we have seen a fair amount of increased openness to discuss this issue in Singapore.
ReplyDeleteA "couple" used to refer solely to a man and a woman in the past, but now, the word is associated with not just "heterogenous" pairs, but "homogenous" ones too, so to speak. While I do believe people have the right to choose their life partners, and feelings for the opposite gender may not be something one can control, I think the social stigma surrounding homosexuality will not be easy to change or eradicate, for that matter. There are so many new ideas surfacing or becoming more prevalent nowadays, homosexuality being one of them. Society needs time to process and assimilate these new ways of thinking. Nevertheless, supporters of this new school of thought must be quite pleased with the headway they have made in terms of raising an awareness of the issue of homosexuality. Notably, Ellen DeGeneres' high profile marraige with Portia de Rossi could alter people's perception towards same-sex marriages, given her media influence.
We can't cast a jaundiced view on homosexuals, nor should we throw upon them a stereotype we believe to be true, but we can find out more about who they are, their personalities and where they are coming from.
Homosexuality is not a clear-cut issue to address, and public consensus regarding it cannot be reached overnight. As with all other "sticky" issues, I feel the most appropriate way would be to perceive it from multiple angles, from the viewpoints of the more conservative and also that of the people involved in such relationships.
Hi Jeremiah,
ReplyDeleteYes there would be a long opposing threat from religious groups on the notion of homosexuality, however religion also tells us that we cannot read scriptures explicitly as it is. If that is the case, polygamy should be well accepted in society because Abraham(in the bible) had many wives. 'God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve', is it fair to consider this notion because this is not current phenomena? It can also be argued that God made Adam and Eve to give rise to more options for the living man to exercise his authority on love. Freedom of love, within limits is the sad fact for all who condemns homosexuality.
However I believe that a law abiding homosexual is less dangerous that a rapist who is heterosexual.
Hi Isabelle,
ReplyDeleteGreat critique of my entry. While I advocate that homosexuality should not be condoned, I am also aware of the social stereotypes formed against homomsexuals that are hard to eradicate. Yes, such mindsets do not change overnight, however, the higher authorities, in advent of this situation, should publicly address the issue and how to deal with it, instead of not talking about the 'unknown' at all, leaving this to be as taboo of a subject as it originally is.
You have certainly opened my eyes when you drew the line between acceptance and tolerance. People are tolerant with regards to homosexuality, but there is also a growing acceptance of it since countries have lifted laws to ban same-sex marriage. Just wondering, will complete acceptance of homosexuality come just in time to house the growing number of homosexuals across the world?